Memoirs of a mysterious mind - Part#1.

Mind is supremely powerful.Half the game is won if the mind game is focused. I was amazed by certain traits of the human mind that deserve some attention. One of my friends who is active with the Art of living organization told me
- "Mind pretty much either broods about the past or worries about the future.It forgets the present! Our lives can be so different if we can focus at the present cause it is only the present moment that we can change. Past is gone and the future is unknown!..

One of the most common states for our mind is the angry mind. Anger is an extremely useful tool for a human being.It captures our emotions under a myraid of situations ranging from
emotional insult to physical injury.It plays its role in shaping relationships or severing them for ever. All the outcomes of anger depend on what caused it , who caused it and when it was caused.?? So our memory constantly reminds us about those anger inducing causes.(To put it in scientific terms anger is causal!!)

Another manifestation of anger is either ruthless silence(remember mouna ragam mohan's character) or extreme emotions.People who have learned the art of anger management have used it as successful tool to shape their lives.For instance, I have rarely seen Sachin Tendulkar get angry or emotional in expression ( in response to verbal assaults from the opposition). He is mostly unruffled and importatly never thinks those are meant for him. Instead the opposition team bears the brunt of the onslaught from the master blaster. He uses his anger as a tool to focus on the game better and play some mindblowing cricket. Instead of shouting back verbally he decided to reply in action.

An important fact is that an angry person becomes inaccessbile to reasoning and infact shuts himself/herself out to external ideas/influences.This is probably why we have often heard people say-"I did this when I was angry and I should probably have not done/said that". In addition to galvanizing oneself to external ideas the angry mind fails to look at the other side of the coin. It is so engrossed at looking the faulty side of things.The following situation might probably capture this better!!

A certain X and Y are good friends(stay in different places and yap on the phone often). Y calls X and they start a conversation. (X is probably waking up getting ready for a filled up calender for the day ahead and that is running is his head). X says something to Y (over the phone) that annoys Y. Y really thinks X made an improper statement(let us assume it was like "I am on a tight schedule here and I will call you back later in the day" or say "I am busy now.I will call you later" or say "Hey I am busy here I will call you soon"...Literally something to end the conversation for now and get ahead with work at hand!!.

But then the prospect of not being give the time that Y was expecting (during the call) gets Y angry.In fact the mind immediately picks this up as an insult and Y hangs up abruptly!!...X on the other side is kind of puzzled..(because X is yapping for sometime without realizing Y has already hung up!!)

X(thinks):Hmmm ....What did I say?? Why did Y hang up??
Y(thinks): How are people so rude?I don't want to talk....again to x!!

X : Calls Y .....try#1....The call is cut...try#2....call is cut...by Y
(by then X guesses something should be wrong with Y..But what has happened??)
X: Sends a text....and hopes Y would read it..!!

Now X decides to get on with work at hand and spend time on this later..!!

Probably a day later..X emails Y and gets a response,where Y explains and says 'I am still angry.You have not seen my real anger!!"(in addition of lot of other things!!)

X(thinks) - "whoa whoa...I did not mean what I said.It was just that you interpreted it incorrect!Tries to reason about the situation. Why on earth should somebody be proud of his/her anger??"

After a lot of back and forth talks/chats things do get settled down..But then....Y still is angry..!

There are a few things in this incident that is intriguing about the mind. Angry mind is galvanized to think - "My views are alone correct and I am not willing to listen to any reasoning against it". Secondly, an angry mind never lets a person look at the other side of coin. For instance, Y's angry mind never lets Y think - "Why did X make such a statement??.
Probably there was something happening at the other end that led to this??"

With most of our conversations now a days not being face to face, it is really more challenging to understand the real context of words.Phone/email are just replacements to real conversations and can never replace the conversations made looking at the listener(face to face).Only in actual conversations the listener will be able to gauge the emotional state of the speaker.That is probably also why we often say "I cant say this over the phone...Let us talk about this in person...."..

What I am trying to convey in this post are as follows:
- Phone conversations are tricky ones..So be clear and as far as possible choosy with words. Especially when talking to quick tempered friends. (You might think my friends/loved ones are the easiest to talk to..then why all this diplomacy??? If that is what you think..then all the best!!)
- If somebody hangs up on you.Don't bother calling them again. They are not going to pick the call anyways!
- Anger can most easily managed by taking things easy and probably talking through it.
- If you do not let somebody know why they angered you..Its imperative that you will be angry at them again!
- Angry mind thinks "Nobody knows how angry I can get???They have not really seen my real
anger.."
- Nobody wants to know how angry you can get cause they are not going to remember you for your anger. In fact they avoid you for your anger.
- Come on .. of all things on earth Anger is not something to be proud of!
- On the lighter side guys find gals beautiful when they get angry..(Based on popular statistics taken from movies and other reliable sources). So probably that is why guys are fine with gals getting angry..!

Probably thought this was a nice way to get back to blogging...